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This post is about my first experience of true love. To love a friend is not that easy. It takes a lot of guts to tell her what is your feelings. You must considered all things that may affect your relationship to each other specially when you treasured your friendship. And in my case, I'm the one who fell in love to my friend. I admit that is not my intention to fell inlove with her, but I think that the nature of true love. It comes when your not expecting it. Actually, she is not the girl that i dreamed of(hehe, totoo un), but when the time goes by,lalo kong nakikita ung good side nya na nagpatibok ng puso q(ang corny talaga kapag umiibig).
Nagsimula ang lahat nung... she is my former classmate when i was studying in one of the elite school in our country( elite because maraming kakaiba sa skul na ito,jowk.. hehe basta magandang skul). At first, hindi kami ganun kaclose kc akala q masungit xa(pero totoo naman,dinidenie nya lang,peace!!!). But GOD is to good, one day lang aun nagkakilala kami in the way of a common friend na klasmyt din namin. And thats the time na nabuo ung friendship namin(oo namin,kc apat kami sa friendship na un). At nasundan pa ung mga gimik namin, ang gastos nga eh, buti na lang hindi pa aq marunong magdota nun kundi hindi talaga aq sasama sa kanila. But i enjoyed their company, kc nakakarelieved naman talaga sa mga problem mo kapag gumigimik kang kasama ang mga tunay mong kaibigan. Until the time comes na nagsasabi na xa ng mga secrets nya and mga prob nya sa isang guy(sino ba ung guy na un?)... aun xa rin naman kc ung sinasabihan q kapag nasasaktan aq sa licheng love na yan(bitterness, harshhhh). And then one day nagising nalang aq na xa ung nasa isip q palagi, i’m not aware na nahuhulog na ung loob q sa kanya. And i hate that feeling cause magkaibigan kami. Isang araw ngdecide aq na ipagtapat sa kanya ung special feelings q about her by way of text(ang cheap no?).. Actually i went to mass before i sent that message to her... a minute later wala pa rin xang reply(naiintidihan q kc baka nashock xa) an hour later wala parin respond. Pero sa totoo anticipated q na talaga ung isasagot nya,kc i’m not the guy that she dreaming of. And after an hour and half, may message aqng nareceive sa cp q, akala q xa na un hindi pala quotes galing sa barkada q,tapus love quotes pa(arayyyy!!!). lalo aqng kinakabahan, mas malakas pa ung beat ng heart q kaysa nung nageexam aq(dougg-dougg-dougg –ang sabi ng heart q). After two hours aun ngreply na xa, sa totoo lang natatakot talaga aqng basahin ung reply nya , kc natatakot talaga aqng masaktan if she rejected me. And un na nga, xempre basted aq, mas mabuti daw kung magkaibigan lang kami. One word that comes my mouth is- “OK”(but deap inside is hurt a lot to me)..
The day after that day(ang gulo no,basta kinabukasan). I act as a normal, ung parang wala aqng sinasabi sa girl na un, but i act opposite what i’ve said. I decided na lumayo muna sa kanya. Pero ang hirap pala kc nga magkaibigan kmi at we are in the same school. And until i graduated in my college days(mamimis q talaga ung mga araw na pumipila aq sa mahabang pila,hehe). Then our friendship saves before it gone. Nagusap kami about sa amin dalawa, and i compromise about all the things that she told to me. Mas pinili qng maisalba ung pagkakaibigan namin kaysa sa nararamdaman q sa kanya.
A months later muli kaming nagkita, akala q talagang nakamove na aq sa kanya. But it’s not true kc muli na namang tumibok ang aking tahimik na puso. Mukhang naiinlove na naman aq sa kanya. Cguro namimissinterpret q lang act nya, kya akala q may pagasa pa aq sa kanya. Nakakamiss talaga ung mga ngiti, tawa, mata, at ung mga thoughts nya. Halos kc sa kanya perfect for me. Hindi na naman aq makatulog because of her.. lagi kc xang nasa isip q(sana aq rin nasa isip nya, ambisyo no?).. i made a mistake again, ayaw q ng maulit sakin yung nakaraan, nagcompromise ulit ako sa kanya. I inform her to say that my feeling about her is still around, and i want her to help me to forget about it. I ask for her advised to about it and she explained all to me about the thing that i must to do to get over her. At sinunod q naman ung napagusapan namin kahit na masakit. But when the time goes by lalo q talaga xang namimiss. Pero kailang kung tiisin para sa pagkakaibigan namin. Ang hirap talaga kapag one sided love no?... there’s nothing that can help me right now.. kya ngaun pinipilit q talaga kalimutan ang lahat. But i didn’t regret na nafall aq sa kanya. I treasured all the moments na nakasama ko sya. Ang sarap din ng filling na mainlove na todo kahit na masakit.. and I’m proud na naexperience ko yun even if it not comes in good ending.. Til now were good friends.. but my feeling to her well last until i die(prang kanta lang!!!)
And that’s the end of my post. Til next time..
See yah... Godbless...
-CHOY-
